she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
