i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
