Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
