the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
