porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
