she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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