I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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