Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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