Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
