she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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