ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
