It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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