Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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