yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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