Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
