I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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