i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
