i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
