I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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