i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
