There is too much vodka and too much dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
