I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
