his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
