Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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