Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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