no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
