If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
