i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
