she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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