What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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