Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
