So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
