She is in my trunk
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
