i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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