she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
