Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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