we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
