so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
