I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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