Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
