Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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