If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
