Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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