At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
