Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
