i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
