we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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