just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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