I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
