I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
