So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
