How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
